when I just want to do big things

What is the purpose of life? What do I want to be known for? What will people say about me when I die? The profound, philosophical questions of life.  The ones that stop us in our tracks.  They cause us to second guess our next steps.  To look behind to find wisdom for what is […]

the real meaning of ‘carpe diem’

I write lists. I make check boxes. I schedule. I watch the clock. I squeeze every moment. I fill the day. And I look up at the end.  What have I done?  I am tired and dry.  My brain hurts.  My mind in knots.  I am useless by the time the sun sets.  I’ve filled […]

stop trying {to be the good girl}

We are taught to be good from childhood. So we strive to always be obedient.  Always do the ‘right’ thing. Always be nice.  Always be kind.  Be patient.  Be loyal.  Be honest… And we try.  We try to hold it all together.  We smile and grit our teeth when we get upset.  We keep it […]

value

With bitter frustration I fell under the push up. I had tried, I failed epically. Knuckle push ups had always been hard, worse when you woke up at five in the morning and dragged yourself to work out at Karate by six. I felt so weak, so pathetic, so ridiculous, a sweaty mess, face first on […]

you’re hopelessly small {it’s true}

I was about 13 years old when I gave myself completely over to Jesus; giving Him my life, giving Him my heart, my dreams, my everything.  What I hadn’t fully comprehended was that those things weren’t really ever mine in the first place…wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. Everybody gets to a crossroads in life.  Whatever decisions this crossroads may present, it can be […]

i don’t keep a diary

Earlier today in the car as I was driving to a meeting I was rocking and singing to an old album–BarlowGirl’s Another Journal Entry–a piece quite instrumental in my spiritual walk when I was about 12 years old.  (The poor people in the cars around me…probably thought I was crazy.) Songs like I Need You to Love […]

grace for me, too

I sit, counting gifts, in the quiet.  Steaming cup of morning coffee by my side, the dawn’s sunbeams beginning to peek in the back windows. #96.  warm coffee on a brisk morning #97. pretty pink pen #98. dog sleeping peacefully #99. dear friends …and I stop.  I’m at 100 already?  I mean, I’ll admit, I […]

confessions: what if we were real?

I notice a trend with the online world. It’s easy to put on a show. Let me back up. Never before, in the history of the world, have we had such easy access to so much fodder for the imagination, the mind, the emotions–at the click of a button.  With one post on Facebook, we […]